Sick and tired of made to feel guilty by parties. I feel non verbal. I feel fat. Okay maybe non verbal but I know I am not fat but I'm concerned about my body. See I don't know if it's #thewrongsideof30 or I'm eating too much or stress or whatever. This post is taking way too much thought. I'm trying to say I've had half my own money automatically go onto direct debits and I spent a bit high percentage on an massage parlour. Why? I'm taking my life. I'm changing my mentality. So with the little money I have, I'm paying for experiences I wouldn't dream about doing before. To hunger for it after more money comes in. More money I generated. But that's where the frustration begins. Because I'm trying to organise my money better. And after that rush thinking about why and what I spend money on I've just thinking. Fuck! Admittedly this week I've had a lot of great sex. But as important I've had great conversations with partners afterwards. And again I feel less like an monster. But I am very very frustrated by having to ask for money to make sure I can do events. In order to find more people to raise my frequency. Agggghhhhhhhhhh!!!! 😡😡😡😡 I worry I not making any fucking sense again!!! #aspieproblems #aspielife #aspie #lawofattraction #socialskills

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