Thursday, 30 November 2017

I’m home, cold and exhausted. But I feel quite the bad ass.


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Monday, 27 November 2017

I feel so miserable I’m second guessing myself as to trying to go to my mum’s or even going to get some basic food. FUCK THIS SHIT. #depression


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#triggerwarning I came out the bath awhile a go but in it I had #suicidalthoughts about wondering if cutting your wrists in the bath is a ‘nice’ way to go.


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I know what some of you are thinking; he’s gone back to his old #depressing self and he’s gonna bring my mood down. Sorry, not sorry. I instagram to; perv on attractive profiles, perv on friends I secretly fancy, affirmate things I think will make me happy (lots of money and stupidly expensive stuff) and to interact with like minded people. Yesterday was meant to be so exciting but there were a number of things which went wrong and some were my #autism ‘s fault and some was #anxiety ‘s fault. I went through periods of hating myself (I actually googled drug overdose on my #antidepressants) because right now... I’m fed up. Im hanging on a very thin thread of things will change but I need a sign and probably more 😭😭😭 my eyes are watering again... I need more understanding friends. My family member could die any day, my dad probably won’t talk to me if I can’t get things in terms of self employment going and my life needs help in so many ways... I don’t know what to do or how to ask for help!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Please love me!!


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Today is NO. #depression


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Wednesday, 22 November 2017

As I fall asleep... I feel there’s things I don’t feel as confident with as I have before.


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#squadgoals #Repost @polyamory818 (@get_repost) ・・・ Do you ever just pick up the person you love ❤️💕⁉️ 🔆🔅🔆🔆🚺🚹🚺#polyamorous #POLYAMORY #polymorylifestyle #poly #triad #throuple #trouple #threeinone


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Because male foreplay would be weird. #chemistry #Repost @msredd (@get_repost) ・・・ 💗 “Chemistry is you touching my mind and it setting my body on fire.” 🔥 #brainninja #yesplease


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Gotta love the Wu. #Repost @miayimofficial (@get_repost) ・・・ Wu Wisdom 👐🏾 #WuTangClan


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Reposting this because it needs more love. Go. #Repost @bambi.lebam (@get_repost) ・・・ Sail away with me... Photographer: @dollhousephotographyuk MUA: @zanetasw . #pinup #pinupphotography #dollhouse #nautical #pinupmodel #pinuphair #bikini #tattooed #tattooedmodel #plussize #curves


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Monday, 20 November 2017

Wise words. ❤️❤️❤️ #Repost @sunlitautumn (@get_repost) ・・・ Can we please talk about these two photos? Forget haircolor, forget indoor/outdoor, the real difference is in the details - my eyes. The first was taken in 2011, the second, 2014. It took three years to get to this point of self love, and that was barely scratching the surface. If you think there is no hope, that you are worthless and nothing, think again. It's 2017 now, and I'm here, STILL here, to tell you that I believe in you. I believe you can get through whatever torments you. You've got this. Call it a pep talk from someone you've never met. You can do this. One step at a time, one day at a time, you are worth every moment. #mentalillness #depression #anxiety #selflove #mentalhealth #empathy #love #mentalhealthawareness #hope #selfcare #dontgiveup #loveyourself #forgiveyourself #friends #writing #safe #savedourselves #personal #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #wordswinwars #words #writers #loveyourself


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Not sure. Check. (Much to my shame and talking officially) Check. Check. Check. Aaaaand check. #Repost @undercoverautie (@get_repost) ・・・ I’m actually very lucky on the loneliness front as I’ve got some wonderful people in my life 💙 But all the others for sure, either now or in the past. . . . #autism #aspergers #asd #asc #actuallyautistic #spd #sensoryprocessingdisorder #unemployment #sleepingproblems #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth


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After #dokidokifestival and #playexpomanchester ... I think I’d like to do more #cosplay. Next con in and near #manchester and #Sheffield?


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Saturday, 18 November 2017

And I get to throw bows in my own mosh pit without idiots fist pumping me. #Repost @_itoldyouiwassick_ (@get_repost) ・・・ 😆 #alone #quiet #peaceful #relaxing #introvert #autism #aspergers #metime


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The moment you realise you ain’t #moshpit ing because NIGGAS REFUSE TO PUT THEIR DRINKS TO THE SIDE OF THE #DANCEFLOOR.


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About as #emo as it gets.


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Meanwhile this just happened. 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😄


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WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. The other day I put TENNER SURE that it will last me until payday. So imagine my surprise, horror and disgust (and possible trigger. Don’t be surprised if I get depressed later) when making eggs on toast, my electricity dies. I’m miffed. And super fucking annoyed. I can only imagine it’s the air de-thingy in my bedroom as I believe it’s the oldest thing or at least one of them in my flat. Just fed up really. I’ve started saving money and working on making money work so I know this is only happening for now but it still pisses me the fuck off.


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#Repost @businessmindset101 (@get_repost) ・・・ Keep the faith and press forward! @belong2christ @forselfsuccess @quotesndfeels


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I think it's my negative thoughts I still have, I try to ignore but... #Repost @au_tastic_memes (@get_repost) ・・・ I've reclaimed my gym SpIn. 3 weeks so far of turning up 5 days a week. I'm broke as all hell and in true dedication to my SpIn and if only for my sanitys sake I put it before all else. This means like before when it was my number one SpIn I won't pick up the phoneto anyone inc my work during designated training hours because that's how SpIn loyalty works. I know that's not how oncall work works. Ergh but hoorah. My damn house is on fire 🔥 my damn rego ain't paid but if I feed theautism™ it gives me an almost calm. Doesn't make sense to most but apparently it doesn't have to... this is a my life #spin #ocd #obsessed #autistic #asd #thisisnotmildautism #extraspicyautism


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