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Thursday, 28 September 2017
Another week, another #meeting with my #business coach. I'm trying not to get #frustrated with myself but it's hard. More so when I want to #communicate what's in my head and articulate that. There's a lot of work to do but I fear I'll get myself confused. Also I'm working on my #organisation skills. Siiiiiiigh. But I need to be kinder to myself. This is the road to #lifechanging. No one said it's easy. If it was, I wouldn't be in the situation I was previously. #Hardwork is hard. Shrek is life. #actuallyautistic #aspielife #millionaire #entrepreneur
Wednesday, 27 September 2017
Tuesday, 26 September 2017
Monday, 25 September 2017
Being an #aspie I think and remember what seems the most random of things. For example Lewis Hamilton asking for something asking for no resistance and for them to 'just execute'. Well while changing my life and thinking of getting #coaching (which may mean I stop buying items until my coaches can advise me what is the best products) and I'm worried that someone is going to say I can't do this or that... I think I need to get a team that I can trust to 'just execute'. #business #selfemployed #actuallyautistic #confidence
Sunday, 24 September 2017
Saturday, 23 September 2017
Lately I've been trying to be on here then #facebook as I find triggers or at least it can #trigger. Yes I am trying to act and think more #positive but something about Facebook I find... False? #happiness overload? I dunno. I like it here because I find what I'm looking for. #Prettygirls. Because i'm a #pervert and that's okay. #lawofattraction
Wednesday, 20 September 2017
As seen yesterday I've been on rampage to #livelifetothefullest on MY terms. So I got some #courage to go into a #massageparlor and ask for prices and stuff. I do fancy going soon and playing there but the ladies there. Wow. Like they remind me of my ex who was a #poledancer/#stripper/model. First time we spent time together I got goose bumps. I got butterflies. I've got butterflies now. So now my #anxiety is like dude what the fuck. They work to give you a good time, they aren't looking for friendship. And if you want more then their services, you shouldn't waste your time. It will end badly. I think there's a part of me that wants to know; can I still pull models/#porngirls and popular #sexual ly positive women like I used to. I think- some fucking cunt just distracted me from my point. I'm near #menarena and some cunt in a car set of a loud bang. Wanna hear a punchline? The car driver was Asian. Idiot. Anyway. I hope with a good support team, I'll be able to do what I want and have the #confidence to approach whoever I want. Very soon. #lawofattraction #socialanxiety #selfesteem #polyamory #swingers #sex
Tuesday, 19 September 2017
Sick and tired of ranting. The first pic is me trying to reach out to other people and not hearing anything back. And second is a fucking BOT 'enquiring' about my items on #eBay #forsale. Enough. Is. E-fucking-nough. Any #business, #enterpreneur s, #businesscoach and or #mentor actually PM me so we can chat about having me as a client! I'm sick of my life! I want to change things!! Literally money on the table!!! #actuallyautistic #mentalhealth #positivethinking #selfemployed
Sunday, 17 September 2017
The #frustration continues. I wanna continue with changing my #mindset with #positivethinking but... It's just hard atm. Just added more #affirmations to my #visionboard but really I wanna be more productive in terms of #selling and #business. Like I would like #help finding out how to stop selling small and infrequently and grow more. I wanna go places, #beinspired and network with people. And then I remember I did go to a couple of events but stopped. Will be more tricky without my bike but... Fuck. So fraustratibg. Actually for a moment felt my eyes water. I struggle to articulate things properly. Any other #aspie peeps have this problem as well? I try fight it but... it's hard. You know?
Friday, 15 September 2017
So not posted in awhile because this week has been... Okay. But I've been bored and actually not wanted to do anything. Not drink. Not have sex. Nothing. I've not even bought stock again. I fear i'm running out steam in terms of #lawofattraction or something. I remember last time I said i'm bored or I don't want to sell something was the whole #mma #business idea I had. I think one of those reasons is... I figured there be more #money in it but to be honest, i'm more into #prowrestling. I'd just be selling Shit I don't truest care about then possibly sell shit I care and love. I have have #gaming items #forsale but... It seems my items won't sell. So it gets me frustrated slash hopeful slash trying to put my simmering #faith into the universe but it feels like loose change. Could this be #depression and/or #mentalhealth and/or my #Aspergers playing into my thoughts? Lately been thinking of rehearsing or colabing with friends, old colleagues or even new local #actors to grab an rehearsal space and create scenes. Maybe #theatre. Maybe #youtube. Fuck maybe even here on #instagram. Like I ask... But I appreciate people are busy. I just wish more people wanted to hang out.
Friday, 8 September 2017
Thursday, 7 September 2017
Monday, 4 September 2017
In bed and hoping to think more #positivethoughts later but... You know what? I could do with a team. To push me through days like this. Emotions like how I feel and #motivate me when I cannot. I'm #sick of smelling this damn damp in my flat and earlier I forgot to mention during my bike ride I was window shopping estate agents for nice #properties. While in bed I was looking for some. And thinking, I do want my life to get better but... I'm having an #lowselfesteem moment. I'm hoping it will pass but I know I'm against the clock now. #winteriscoming and I think my #mentalhealth actually gets WORSE during this time. #lawofattraction #help
Another trying day. I went to an #monologue event and thought about my book out on #Amazon. And then I hear the audience and wonder if it's just people being nice and i'm like Evan, they are hardly going to boo an performance. Deep breathes. I think I need the space to be me. And not worry about what people think. If people love like my work, cool. If not then that's okay. My and yours if you feel similar love and energy is worth saving for the groups that do care for you. Going home as feel faint.
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