#tw #triggerwarning: #suicide, family death • • • I wanna take a moment to tell you about last night’s #suicidalthoughts. So I was in bed listening to #affirmations (now I tagged that, let’s see how many content creators actually READ this post) and all of a sudden can’t remember if Louise Hay was saying then or afterwards to put children in my heart (it makes sense if you heard her affirmations) and all of a sudden I thought of this scene from Battle Royale. Basically it’s one of the main character’s dad. But instead of him... I imagined I did something similar here. At my flat. I think the only things I could use to hang myself is my pull up bar and maybe some belts knocking about. • • • I started thinking how upset some people would genuinely be but I fear and doubt the sincerity of a couple of people. I also fear if I was to kill myself if they would financially profit from it. • • This is how my mind is thinking, right now and yeah there’s no smoke without fire however it’s pretty fucked up I worry how I worry. But to be honest... Between a VERY small group of people, I guess this is how the effects of comments have effected me off late. I honestly can’t trust anyone right now. Even myself. • • Counselling is tomorrow. And i’m guessing an hour isn’t going to be enough time to describe how much psychological damage has been done. #aspielife #aspergersisnotadisease #endthestigma #depressed

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